After a Trip to the Hayden Planetarium While Off My Meds

I've been to the Dog Star, Sirius...seriously.
Ursa Minor weren't no minor trip.
Alpha Centaurius was a quick de-tourious.
I'm just not down with this lil' Earthly blip.

I have found the more splendid Earthly things
in our urban center seedy-swings
New York City as the only real Place in Age
for Grace
The rest of it is off the charts, remains
unmapped for better future civic use of Time and Space.

Ego driven, this young rock
as it orbits round some two-billion single souls
(as it is perceived by each)
alone in circles bubble bound
no one else in reach

...everyone is just a little 'off'.

Please send a space-craft to intervene
and make it clear as bagel-day
that while it's seen by us as Galactic Condescension
your slow descent is meant
as a mandatory intervention
just a little tip;
otherwise we'll shoot you on the landing strip.

Such fear is on this planet bred for what we can not name
you'd think our moon must surely hide her darker face in shame.

Close Up

Anniversary of a Heist...

I've seen Chad, O! Indeed-y I have!
Dimpled AND hanging,
it wasn't THEIR bad.
As anyone who had the nuts to
follow their nose
- and yeah, it takes brass ones -
a heist is a heist
by left or by right
on paper,
on machines pulling fast ones,
on Diebolds or by Dents,
or by top 1 percents...
our election junk BLOWS!
(But, hey, happy 10th!)


Fla. recount participants hold reunion
Chads are enduring symbol of election 10 years ago...

Broward County canvassing board member Judge Robert Rosenberg examines a challenged ballot Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2000, at the Broward County Emergency Operations Center in Plantation Fla. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

Fla. recount participants hold reunion
Fla. recount participants hold reunion

Memories of hanging, dimpled and pregnant chads are being ...
Updated: Tuesday, 09 Nov 2010, 6:05 AM CST Published : Tuesday, 09 Nov 2010, 6:05 AM CST

Close Up

My Sacred Covenant With The Colbert Nation: The Best Little Document I’ve Ever Blindly Obeyed

I’m so much prouder than I should be to announce that I’ve been a Platinum Card carrying member of The Colbert Nation since July 17th, 2006. How do I remember the precise date? Well, because just like the good lil’ literalist Stephen Colbert has trained me to be, I actually carry around the card. Okay, so it’s not so much a ‘card’ as it is a ‘Covenant with a Mandatory Abstinence Rider.’ Whatever, I totally meant it when I signed it. All of it.
Even the parts I didn’t read.

Solemnly intoned in my living room on the 17th day of July in the year of our Lord 2006 and witnessed by my boyfriend Sam while he was doing something else, this Sacred-ish Oath-y Document that I keep neatly folded up in my bulky girl-wallet binds me to all the terms, conditions, restrictions and laws governing (sic Colbert Nation) and demands that I “solemnly swear to defend it’s principals and borders…or risk death by exposure.” Done and done. Just like that. Didn’t even have to think about it twice because I didn’t even think about it once. In fact, since becoming a citizen of Colbert Nation, I rarely have to think at all, anymore! Everything is ...)

My Covenant also secures the privileges I enjoy as Colbert Nation Elder (*see foot below.) While it’s true these privileges do not come cheap, I gleefully comply with all The Nation asks of me without a trace of fore-thought, middle-thought, and especially without any of those pesky after-thoughts! How have I mindlessly ascended to this lofty Grand Poo-poo-bah position? By happily signing away the rights to “all my writings, discoveries, inventions, and ideas”, for one. For two, giving (said) items over to The Nation to do with as it so chooses, even if “what the Nation decides to do with my inventions is put them in a large pile next to other people’s inventions and set the pile on fire, for heat.” Not only am I okay with that, but I’m such a believer in blind faith as it may be applied to my Colbert Nationalism, I’d vacantly light the match. In fact, this article that I’m writing right now and that you are reading sometime in the near future? It isn’t mine. This is a pre-published sentence I’m in the middle of and it is already owned, copyrighted and making revenue as the official property of TCN.

With all that clever exposition behind us, you might now guess that this is why I’m taking Stephen Colbert’s MARCH TO KEEP FEAR ALIVE very serio-comedically. And why I’m going to D.C. on October 30th, as befits my duty inherent, and as clearly outlined for me in no small terms (but tons of small print) in the Covenant.

As a recovering former Opus Dei-ifying Democrat (off the Dem whipping sauce since Clinton’s Telecommunications Act of 1996!), and a salty ex-Florida voter with Independent / Green Party “tendencies” (even flirted Republican for a shit-berry election cycle or two and voted Ron Paul in the 2008 Primaries) - 2010 finds me, a semi-lucid but passionate voter, all dressed up with no race to vote. The Colbert Nation is the only thing out there that accurately reflects my geo-political ideology and general world view - and it never disappoints. It Fights Fire with Satire. It Tells Spoof to Power. And it’s no joke to say that The Colbert Report and The Daily Show are the only media saving my brain and my volatile psyche during this Palin-olithic, Dark Age of Duh.

If I could vote TCR-TDS, I would.
And I’m not alone…

Stephen Colbert’s MARCH TO KEEP FEAR ALIVE is just as real-world, if not more so (dare I say it?) than all of Dick Army’s imported bus loads of Frazzled Grannies with American Flags pinned to their diapers. This Mirth-y Mecca, this Battle Deux-Max in the war for the very (funny) soul of this country - is certain to dwarf their millions of not-even-close-to-a-million angry retirees woefully separated from the fat arms of their boozy-woozies and lazy-boy chairs.

Hey YOU, ALL MEDIA! Yes, you! – Constantly extolling the virtues of all things Tea-Party-ish with an obsession that borders on the Fettishizing of Hatred – you Propaganda Porn-Meisters, willing to shuck-n’-jive for insider access that only morphs you into mindless mouthpieces for the dark forces behind our burgeoning Cleptocracy - I’m here to tell you: The Colbert Nation is real.

Just as real as any Tea Party Patriot (and with twice the Sass!)
Just as real as any phony, loaded pre-election polls.
Just as real as the Department of Homeland Security. Or The 9/11 Commission Report. Or WMD. Or the Breitbart / Sherrod scam, or any meaningless investigation John Conyers has ever instigated. We’re certainly more real than anything you’ve (likely) covered ad nauseum in your flash-mob, bread n’ circuses media trash-rag this year. Go ahead, Chuck Todd - TRY to Razzle Dazzle me. I DARE ya. Unlike you, we didn’t just tumble off this cable cat-nip caboose. Unlike you, we know a false narrative when we see one - even “from above 30,000 feet”.

We are a legitimate ‘fluid nation’(**), and even though you won’t write about us - we vote.

Remember that when you don’t bother to report our massive numbers in D.C. on Saturday, just three days before a pivotal election. Keep that in mind as you blow off the theatrical throngs and hilarious hoards, gathering under God’s Sky as one irony-clad multitude, shouting (and seething and seething and shouting) at all you Colbert Nation Nattering Nay-saying Non-Non Ninny-boobs. We, The Nation, will scream passionately (read: loud) enough to drown out the condescending snickers and pompous platitudes of pundits. We, The Nation, will shriek (read: even louder) at decibels designed to explode the human ear-drum. Ours will be a din intended to willfully shatter the porcelain-jawed media as they poop all over the country from their comfy, counterproductive, beltway shit-lodges. Watch out N.P.R., you Giant Suck-tards! The rude jokes we’ll make at your expense over your FEAR / SANITY media blackout will make you more uncomfortable than Juan Williams on a airplane full of all Muslims are Terrorists. (Oopsy. I meant to write ‘Muslim Terrorists’. Thumb must’ve slipped six times.) Who knew it was possible for any organization to piss off both me AND Jim DeMint in the same week? You guys are SO gonna get ACORN’d and when you do I will *not* host your marathon charity fundraisers, no matter how much you almost pay me or beg.

I think it’s perfectly clear to see why a Pyre of Satire is the best and only tonic for this bi-functercated, poop-pilly partisian, shrill-tastic, political season we’re suffering. And don’t be fooled by our fooling, we are suffering.

Point is: We’re here. We’re Fear.
Get used to it.


(**) In "The Braindead Megaphone” George Saunders (my own personal Alpha Dog) writes about what he calls "fluid nations” as a Faux Patriotic Studies Discipline.
Close Up

CNN's Rick Sanchez, Doughy (Racist) Rube: CANNED!

(Originally posted 9/21/2009 - UPDATED 10/2/2010; after CNN *finally* cans the smarmy-toad. - jd)

Dear 80% of Americans who aren’t crazy, brainwashed, Christian-witches, and / or completely lacking any trace of moral center ~

Sigh. Rick Sanchez screaming “YOU LIE” at Fox News all day on CNN is not a victory for anyone but Fox News. In case you missed it, Fox just totally conned Sanchez and CNN into re-airing even more coverage of last Saturday's Fiction-Festival, Loony-Baloony, 9/12 Stupid-Hooey. And all it took was ginormous sums of money and a little twist of Sanchez' itty-bitty ego-testicles. Apparently it's just that easy to get your main competitor to flaunt your bullshit propaganda while aping your grade-school behavior as some kind of indignant smack-down.

Nice work, Rick. Epic fail.

Fox must be thrilled when a full page ad in the Washington Post yields five times it's original rate of return for it's revenue dollars because you can't resist megaphoning their ugly fan-fiction all over yourself. (We know all too well, Rick: self-flagellation is your Axe Body Spray.) Then, at no additional charge to FOX, the rational rest of are forced to watch this hyperbolic chamber of slime subsequently trickle-piss it's way down to the best independent blogs on the internet. Great new model for the new media paradigm, everyone: if Fox isn't happy with the other networks "news" coverage of their stage-managed, populist-rage Kabuki, they'll bitch and whine like Beverly Hills tweens without boob jobs and CNN caves and throws in a Lexus and a Jonas Brother. What a fun, shameful new precedent!

This undignified Fox/ Sanchez episode is one of the most obvious ways Democrats, Progressives, Rational Independents, Solid Moderates, and Reagan Fiscal Conservatives (read: We, The Not Crazy People) are self-defeating. Our failure to fight the regressive (and erroneous) red media vs. blue media cable news circus is just another token in the broken spoke of our ravaged fourth estate. The initial trickles of our collective rubbernecking the at the stupidity on display in the Teatards has taken it's toll; a trend we were way too slow to identify, one we never made serious efforts to stem, and one we now find ourselves too impotent to remedy. It was always inevitable that at it's highest tide it would behave as flash flood waters do, resulting in the wholesale brainwashing of a full 20% of the U.S population daily in banks, bars, and doctor's offices all over the country.

I know it's fashionable to live-feed the zoo animals, but shouldn't We The People stop allowing our public airwaves to be used this way and save them from their own electrified fences? Can’t We - The (supposedly smarter) People - come up with a better, if not LOUDER, solution? Or at least a better slogan? Or more outrageous and effective street theater? (I know, I know - same thing. But this Health Care Bill has not exactly been a smooth roll-out...the New Coke campaign was better framed.) Until we do, we will continue to give the mob the mic.

In this graph, with the indulgence of the "normal" 80 percenters reading this , I'd like to translate the above into Teabagginese just in case any one of them should stumble by here, read this and accidentally absorb something like a fact. I seriously doubt any of them will suffer it - if we still have any of them with us...all those words I just wrote aren't on their limited, Fox prescribed info-diet. And from what I have gleaned anything beyond their daily dose of repetitive, emotional trigger words only confuses them (*even more) and causes them to lash out (*even louder). But just in case, for the benefit of those I once loved dearly before their unchecked, unprovoked, unfounded, unsubstantiated fear drove them so far into Nut-ville they don't have enough cerebral reception bars for me to get a call through to them from reality, anymore - just in case they should read this and get all urine-jumpy, like they do:

"Hello, Teabagger! I hate to brutally victimize you with facts, but you should know this is exactly how the Communist Pravda Press was formed. That's right, YOU are now riding shotgun with the big bad "Czar" driving this once great country to ruin in his "Commie Jalopy" - you freaky, deaky brainwashed willfully ign't mo'fo's. Do us alll yourSELVES a favor and look into it before you go on that late summer shootin' spree. Say, here's a great joke I wrote just for you to not get:

--'What do you think about what happened last week, Comrade?'

--'I don't know. I haven't read my Pravda this morning.'

--'Da. Giiiiitttttttteeeeerrrrrrdduuunnnnn-ski!'

(Popular joke amongst the stupid, ruling elite in what was formerly the Soviet Union before it's dramatic, bitter, economic collapse.)

**End of Teabagginese**

Apologies if the above graph seems exceedingly rude to the 80% of you who aren’t crazy, brainwashed, Christian-witches, and / or completely lacking your moral center ~ but that's how Teabagginese is properly spoken, and believe me, the only way it's understood. In fact, I think I missed some not-so-subtle misspellings inherent to the various regional dialects, but those residing north of Florida and West of Kentucky should be able to follow most of what I wrote from context. The joke will remain a mystery to most of them, sadly, as will the phrase "do us all a favor". To a Teabagger, the concept 'doing for the greater good' conjugates directly and immediately into the word 'Socialism' in every tense; including but not limited to first, second and third-person pluperfect subjunctive.)

As for the Democrats, I am no longer surprised by their willful intent to forfeit all that is critical at the time of least resistance. What I wonder now, mostly, is how much longer they'll even mount the effort to keep up appearances? This Great Republic our Farfurthers sacrificed their wealth and sacred honor to gift us with - "if we could keep it" - now inhabited by two dip-shit Dominants: the socialist ball-less, ball-licking billionaires, and the soul-less, riot-inciting, race-bating paranoid fringe billionaires with guns.

...Martini-Mandatory Times we're having, huh?


**UPDATE (3:47am PT) FYI - As a mediocre virtuoso, (never could make a living at it) I am usually vindicated within six (6) hours of any given post, as I am exactly six (6) hours ahead of my time. But this time I am way under par @ 12 hrs with this recently released, gloating quote from FOX:

"When asked about their competitors' (Sanchez's) reaction to the ad, a FOX executive laughed and said, "Thank you very much, and a special thanks to Rick Sanchez who has always been a sucker. He's a gift that keeps on giving...."

Here's to hoping I'm now a full half-a-day ahead of my time. If you wanna know what's gonna happen tomorrow but not the next day, give me a shout.

**2010 UPDATE w/ REVISED - scratch all that. I'm now a FULL YEAR ahead of my time. (Those virtuoso classes I took years ago must FINALLY be paying off. Won't my parents be relieved!) Sanchez has been rightly canned, no matter how long it may have took. How, O how, will CNN ever find anyone to replace your remarkable track record of ineptitude? Truly, you leave behind *hugely* useless shoes to fill. And yet, somehow I feel certain CNN won't fail us toward that end...

AND THANK YOU, ONCE AGAIN, JON STEWART!!! Another clean victory in the battle of Satire vs. humorless, high paid, high profile assholes! And this time he didn't even have to do anything! Chalking up another win for democrazy. Beware future Tucker-type-fuckers and would-be Dirty Sanchez's! Your days of mind-numbing influence are surely numbered.
Close Up

Try to Remember a Kinder September...

Nothing like nine or even a hundred and nine years can ever dull the instant recall of it. Waking up late, disoriented by the black fire on blue sky portrait rising high outside my boxy kitchen window; sipping orange juice with the cat tucked under my arm, wondering what the hell Con Ed had fucked up THIS time. (Acrid smell + cable out + choking smoke = nothing new in my neighborhood. In pre-9/11 Brooklyn, we called that a Tuesday.)

Bearing witness to such divine human heights in Lower Manhattan as we all did that day, shaped in the shared, endless looping on TV of horror and bravery unfolding; most of us are only all too familiar with the images so selectively and repeatedly shown. But a random, lucky, haunted few of us were given the chance to peer beyond the militarized check points and see the subsequent second wave of Grace the attacks rightly inspired. I was one of those Lucky Do-ers, then a bit pierced by too much time inside, now punctured by not enough.

At our relief station just north of Canal Street at the West Side Highway in late September 2001, an Endless Bounty of donated supplies was being dropped off in mountainous, heaping piles. We received hand-knitted doggie booties for the Rescue dogs made by concerned Girl Scouts in Ohio, who had heard on the news their paws were getting burned; boxes of homemade cookies arrived for the firefighters from families who sent their kids scrambling across our closely secured barricades to hand deliver them; hundreds of thousands of Crayola-crafted, construction-paper offerings of love appeared by the truckload for police officers drawn by school children all over the country; supplies and regulation gear and fresh coffee and health services and hot meals - all were donated and magically transported by both the private and the public sector, for months and months on end...

Since then, it has been spiritually deflating to witness our human decency take such brutal, self-imposed hits. In fact, the dichotomy in the Spirit of the Age between that-time-to-this, all in just under a decade; feels like someone hit the warp-speed button in reverse, making us all front-row witnesses to our own slow, painful de-evolution. How did we go from hundreds of people lining up along the West Side Highway in the freezing rain to cheer the first responders after their endless, deadly hours of sifting through debris, body parts and twisted steel (and thermite?!) with their bare hands -- to such intractable, ignorance and political posturing?...To the bullying of integrated, American Muslims; to the LYNCHING in effigy the very Americans who are trying to provide those same first responders with medical care? (And shouldn't we, as a culture, have outgrown lynchings in effigy by now? Isn't that like the third developmental stage of any society right after teething and letting their 'womern-folk' vote and wear trousers?)

Nine years later, I grieve not only for the irreplaceable human loss we suffered then, not only for the deaths of over eight hundred first responders and civilians from cancer related diseases since, not only for the young men and women we've lost in service to both theaters of war resulting, not only for the hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan we've accidentally shot...

...No, now I am also in deep mourning the contrast of that day's iconic, sacrificial Grace measured against the Broader Macro of the Nasty-Now. Such unforeseen, drastic drops in civil discourse from that-September-to-this, if you'd shown me a clip of last weekend's Glenn Beck Rally from our corner of the blown out, sixteen acre, burning crater in Lower Manhattan nine years ago I'm sure I would've put money down that you were showing me a Jerry Springer Movie Sequel, or dismissed you as a visitor from one of our 'probable futures' here to warn us that we still have time to change our ways before we all die from Duh. (What I wouldn't GIVE to see Rod Serling step in front of the C-SPAN cameras to reassure us that what we're about to see is FICTION. That's the best explanation I can think of for John Boehner - that he's really a character out of Finian's Rainbow who grows a soul in the third act after a good natured leprechaun turns him black and he hits the road in a jalopy singing with a gospel quartet.)

A million nightmares later, and 9/11 is still the horror from which all other horrors spring forth fully formed - most of them completely imaginary. Yet the least affected among us scream the loudest, finger on the panic button; with the sane rest of us stuck in the Crazy-Tram with them for the duration of their raging, pissing ride. And while they rant n' rail n' spit and seethe into the giant microphones we gave 'em, and as they continue to drive us further into the divided blue-red ditch using our taxpayer dollars and public airwaves to do it, our heroes quietly die, like heroes do - with The Stupids riding high at the helm of their wrongful expulsion.
Close Up

AMERICA JUMPS THE SHARK: A WTC Recovery Worker Reacts to the "Ground Zero Mosque" that Isn't...

AMERICA JUMPS THE SHARK: A WTC Recovery Worker Reacts to the "Ground Zero Mosque" that Isn't a Mosque and Isn't at Ground Zero

I awoke this morning feeling particularly churlish after another fitful, sleepless night spent trying to prioritize all the meaningless tasks ahead of me this week that will involve me suffering assholes instead of assholes suffering. just doesn't seem fair.

 Then over breakfast, I had to get out the leather straps and restrain myself so as NOT to hurl my coffee mug at the wall in response to the GROUND ZERO MOSQUE DEBATE - which is so stupid and antithetical to everything we as Americans claim to hold dear I can't even believe we're *having* it, let alone *losing* it to the maladjusted few who don't / won't (can't?) seem to get the giant, loaded diaper of irony that is their position.  Such pretzel contortion is required on their part to muster anything like a steady logic on the matter, they could give their own asshole the stink-eye just by glancing sideways. 

"You say the terrorists hate us for our freedom, and yet by your logic the way to respond to that is to further limit our own freedoms? I don't get...oh! So the extremists will hate us less? It's not a Freedom of Religion issue?...You say your opposition stems from the fact that it's 'insensitive' to build a place for Muslims to swim, pray, and talk about stuff half-way across town from Ground Zero? But how is that NOT a Freedom of Religion issue? Just because you prefaced it with the meaningless disclaimer, "I get that we have Freedom of Religion, BUT..."? Your empty conjunctive disfunction doesn't excuse you from making a real point with the breath you use to make words. Nor does it make your point any less tenuous, no matter how loudly you spit the 't'...

"And when you say "Freedom of Religion" why do you make a face like you're smelling liquid bum? You're the first to honk on mightily about the First Amendment when PS 180 neglects to put up a Navtivity Scene in the School Cafetorium at Christmas or whenever Laura Schlessinger can't stop herself from another 'n' word aria.  So how do you square cherry-picking which Constitutional Amendments to keep (I know how very much you LOVE your #2) and which ones to toss because they don't serve your preconceived, somewhat limited notions of regressive reality?  I thought that was a trick you saved for Scripture...

"...And, hey - whatever happened to the former bravado of our post 9/11, Bully-Horn Mantra: 'If we deny ourselves the freedom to (insert 'shop / eat / waste time on our fat asses watching reality TV' et,al) then the terrorists win! ...don't hear that one so much, anymore. I guess because "If we don't let them build a community center, Y and gymnasium with space set aside for prayer to their foreign-sounding God mere blocks (and blocks) away from Ground Zero in what was formerly the Burlington Coat Factory then the terrorists win!'  is so much harder to chant. 

And practically impossible to fit on a commemorative coin.

Digesting all this before noon made it difficult NOT to hurl up my 2 egg whites (for muscle building protein!) from the nausea inducing spectacle-of-a-freak show Ground Zero has become - politicized, privatized, and polarized; once brimming over with Divine Holy; God on Point, Supreme Humanity -- now everyone's reason to hate first, buy the souvenir after.

After my Not-Losing-my-Lunch-Break, I accidentally extended my horrible morning into the afternoon by excoriating Facebook friend after Facebook friend over this issue. Feeling Gang-Faced ('Gang-Faced': forced to endure vile Facebook comments by social networking proxy) each comment evidence-free, emotionally driven and Flag-planted with Self Righteousness; each unenlightened Idiocrat giving instant rise to another doughy, like-minded blowhard until I was adrift in a cyber-sea of vapid, chirping, Bully-Pussies. ('Bully-Pussies': Bullies before they're punched, Pussies after they're bleeding.)  Sensing that tomorrow's media will headline the comments I'm reading today as some kind of unimpeachable tableau of fact and popular opinion, I allow myself to waste the rest of my afternoon attempting to activate a real world, real life, real information counter-strategic resistance and deprogramming campaign. I will spend joyless hours at this Wiki-Wacky-Mole (™ ), trying to set friends and loved ones free of this endless dead-horse whacking, maddening, off-track, base-less, fact-less, circular crap.

But I will fail.  It's an Escher-painted debate - intended by intelligent design to divide and split us. And it works better than Mr. Clean.

Just before Dinner, I finally snap my cap completely on the Facebook Wall of a really sweet neighbor kid I used to babysit. I won't detail his original comment, because it would reveal him to be a far worse person than I suspect he is - suffice it to say it started with the assertion that this President isn't legitimate (tho' neither was the last one and I suspect that bothered him next to not at all) then goes on to suggest Obama leave the country for even suggesting that Muslims have the right to build their Mosque wherever they want *under the protection assured them by the U.S. Constitution*. Which is SO funny because I thought that last part was a given - a root assumption all Americans share. That it could ever be considered a compelling case for the deportation of the Leader of the Free World, who - no matter how much we hate him - swore on a Bible in front of God and Country to protect and defend that right? ...News to me.

Perhaps it wouldn't have bothered me so much if he hadn't become a Police Officer, also sworn to protect and defend the U.S. Constitution. Not sure how his 'Go Home to Africa Obama the Secret Muslim for your mild, watered down, walked-back defense of the First Amendment' stance fits into that picture. Double-troubling to me that he doesn't / can't / won't begin to see that as contradiction inherent; how a possible dereliction of duty might be self-evident between the lines of his professional oath-taking and his private FB mouth-running. You know, I used to let that little shit stay up way past his bed time to watch the Michael Jackson THRILLER video. Wish I hadn't because now he's scaring the shit out of me.  Instinctively, I popped off the following comment in about two seconds and without thinking, I hit 'send':

"Hey, 'member Freedom of RELIGION, assholes?;) If what you really want is a THEOCRACY then YOU get the Hell out. You can not have my city, my country, my tragedy. I worked with Muslims at the WTC Recovery site and guess what? Muslims were bombed on 9/11, too. What about the bunch of you? Watch it all unfold in on TV in your bathrobes, did you?  Sorry, I can't let you get away with this one. Bad form even for a Facebook post.  Disgrace breeds disgrace. F.U.- Janine Winter / WTC Recovery Worker / Lower Manhattan / Sept 17 2001 - Dec 12, 2002."

This is not the first of our Great National Debates and Historic Lessons since 9/11 re: the whittling down of our Founding Fathers' Sacred Rights for the Bush/Cheney/Obama National Security State.  In November of 2006, we killed and buried Habeas Corpus, now the Specter coming back to fist us in the pucker-hole with the Guantanamo Bay Detainees we held unlawfully outside the U.S. Right of Law and tortured outside the Rule of International Law (quaint lil' International Treaty, that.)

But this, the story of the 'Ground Zero Mosque that Isn't One, Never Was One, and May Now Never Be Anything' - somehow feels even more determinant to the dark power we have truly become;  A FUBAR peek behind the camoflage scrim of what lies ahead as we witness the collective bullying of an (already integrated) group of American Muslims. (Next: a Koran burning / BBQ / MonsterTruck Rally at the Garden? Someone call Ticketmaster. "Tailgate 4 Hate!") 

These are not Radical Fundamentalist Islamic Extremists, but the same moderate Muslim Community and Leaders Osama Bin Laden hates for their Western assimilation. These potential 'mosque dwellers' are the extended family members of our allies, the people our soldiers are there to save, trying to help.  The Muslims Peoples who were the (original and extra crispy) reason George W. Bush gave us for deploying our troops there in the first place.  We're there teaching them Democracy 101 (ha!) at immeasurable cost in human life (theirs and ours) and with trillion-bagillions of taxpayer dollars (mostly our kids'.)  But I'm guessing THAT is another iron lost on the Irony-Pyre of Fiery Blahblah for those now so recently and completely put out by Cordoba House's "sensitivity" problem.

Someone needs to softly inform our friends while carrying a big stick: Dear misguided, scared stupid friends and Howard Dean ~ We don't make exclusionary laws in this country on the basis of Religion. Or Race. Period.  No matter where, no matter what. We don't pressure any citizen to back off of a lease acquired legally on American soil citing "acute cultural sensitivity", and we don't force evict people we're afraid of just because we find them offensive, creepy, and threatening.  If we did, I'd be working very hard to strip away the Facebook and Twitter accounts of every Dinkhead who doesn't understand our historic position in this world as a Nation of Laws.  Lucky for Sarah Palin, I can't do that...yet.

The day we most feared and said would never happen, when we would allow our hearts and resolve to be weakened by ignorance and fear, has come. Now, nine years after the fact– we succumb to the long, hot, fevered indignancy of the slow hard-boil and denounce the rights of a entire peoples to worship, and swim laps, as they so choose...

....across town from where my neighbors and friends died at tragic heights for their very right to do so.

 This is the moment America was felled by terrorism.


COMING NEXT / Follow-up Essay: By this criterion re: proximity to terrorism = respect duly owed - doesn't that mean my getting bombed directly on 9/11 makes my opinion worth more than yours? Expert weighs in. And why are Florida and Texas, of all places, so mortified of Al Qaeda? No one's going there to bomb their condos and gated communities...except their kids.

*NOTE of INTEREST: This coin may really be on sale at Ground Zero - recycled from 2 tons of actual Trade Center Steel and vault gold that was carted off during the night in giant flatbed trucks over the Hudson right by my bedroom window.  (Talk about classy! Sacred, sacred stuff, ain't it tho'? Comes straight to you from the ashes, even!)

The day we finally burrowed down and reached the Vault Gold in the basement of WTC1, believed to be owned by Swiss Banks, all work was halted at the site while special ops forces were brought in with armored trucks to collect it.  Men in Black with AK-47s were stationed at every major check point, and we were explicity told that getting too close to the extrication would get us shot. I remember the day because the Firefighters were furious. 

Within six months of the attacks, all the steel had all been quickly bundled and sold to "investors".  Good to know that Gold ended up as such prestigious artifact. No proper independent investigation, Federal or otherwise, was ever performed on the materials retrieved from Ground Zero. The 16 acre disaster site itself, in the hands of heroes, was cleared of two tons of debris six months ahead of time and millions of dollars under budget.

The two pieces are clad in 15 mg each of 24 KT pure gold and .999 Pure Silver – priceless silver recovered from a bank vault in the ashes of Ground Zero. The Twin Towers can be raised to stand on the face of the proof – the proof is transformed into a standing sculpture of the Twin Towers! On the obverse is our promise: “We Will Never Forget” and “In Memory September 11, 2001” above the double date 2001-2006. On the reverse, a powerful eagle proclaims “God Bless America” under 5 stars, one for each year since 9/11. The stunning design of this magnificent September 11th memorial proof is a 24 KT gold and .999 Pure Silver clad tribute to all who were lost on that fateful day.
Close Up

Letter to the Ghost John Lennon

Dear Daddy Winston O' Boogie,

We sure are missing you
Down Here About Now
Did you hear that
Yoko hit #1
just as you predicted?
it must gratifying to be right again
so posthumously invictus
(Thirty years gone - dead, but even more dead-on!)

I don't mean to take up your Infinite Time-less-ness
as I'm sure you're quite busy
what with all the tasks ahead
a genius dead,
but -
...could we beg your skills down here, instead?

Daddy Doctor Winston O' - it's bad.

If only a little PCP would lend you to me,
(show me the hooch that's secure our latent luncheon
and I'd suck it down with little care of repercussion)...
I miss you, so.

We're lost. S.O.S.
We've made a mess.
And worse, we've not got
one voice around
singing something roundly sound
from Heaven down to Channel Ground.

If I could sustain your vibrational plane,
I'd drive you the whole way back and I won't complain.
We can meet in your dimension of choice
Or better yet, Being You
I'm sure you can find a way
to throw your voice
They say you still chat with Yoko,
and watch over New York Town
So again
I really hate to bug you -
but I'm sure you know we can't alone survive
this rug-burn livin' going down.

We're way off-track.
Please, come back.

Close Up

THE NEW YORK TIMES: Incredible Suck-tards / "Gray Lady" Now Openly Fellates Felons...


SENT TO: CLARK HOYT, New York Times Independent Public Editor:
CC'd: GREG BROCK, New York Times Senior Editor of Standards:

Dear Mr. Hoyt,

I can’t remember a time when my family didn’t subscribe to The New York Times. It has been a beloved staple of our daily news diet for generations; the focus of so many memorable dinner discussions that informed my earliest perceptions of how current events shape our lives. Especially important to my parents were those ideals that stressed as our civic duty a willful devotion to becoming better informed citizens. In high school, The New York Times became the undisputed rock on which I could hang all my root assumptions; proving invaluable as the common ground spring-board for the rigorous yet respectful debate I shared with classmates despite our considerable sociopolitical differences.

This is why I find your email exchange with Brad Friedman in defense of your indefensible Breibart / O’Keefe ACORN journalistic misfires, published at earlier today, so utterly astounding. The implications Mr. Friedman has uncovered in your refusal to simply do the right thing - retract your previously incorrect statements re: O'Keefe's blatant misrepresentations and twisting of the facts - pains and deeply saddens this once loyal NYT reader (and I imagine, countless others).

I'd like to highlight your jaw-dropper:

"The story says O'Keefe dressed up as a pimp and trained his hidden camera on Acorn counselors. It does not say he did those two things at the same time..."

This statement is so patently absurd for a moment I forgot you weren’t Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, or a twelve-year-old girl. For a Senior Editor with The Times to imply that he / she is unaware that the original graph is completely misleading, and does not “deserve” correction or retraction is proof that you, Mr. Hoyt, should not have been elevated to a position to determine such. After closely following Brad Friedman’s coverage of your shoddy reporting on the ACORN story now for months, and considering the NYT's other embarrassing scandals i.e. recent plagiarism of the Wall Street Journal (Zachery Kouwe), or parroting the false pretense for Going To War (WMD / Judith Miller) – I feel foolish having ever given your publication the benefit of the doubt.

Why would you, in good faith, retract your wrongful reporting of what is so obviously an (illegally taped) right-wing sting operation in which the charges against the ACORN have not manifested in any illegal wrongdoing, and border on entrapment? No, why would you responsibly correct the record as is your charge, when instead you can distill it with a silent admonition that gives those disreputable sources all the power of your mighty megaphone?...
How utterly, nutterly naïve of me, in hindsight.
Shame on me.

Mr. Hoyt, your unwillingness to set the record straight for your readers on this matter, the publishing and promoting of demonstratively false accounts as related by O’Keefe & Breitbart, amounts to the rewriting (overdubbing / selectively editing) of the authentic Public Record. It is the mauling of Facts, and manifestation of the Times' outright endorsement of felonious buggery and ideological deception. That you printed the most convenient (and FALSE, let it be re-stated) version of events without any investigation or documentation because you “believed your source because he said it on Fox News” should make every American shudder: Proof the Gray Lady has been given a roofie, and now felates for FOX.

As such, not only am I immediately revoking my subscription to the New York Times, but I will use my platform as a prominent public speaker and performer to remind every else to do the same. I will forward Mr. Friedman’s article to everyone I’ve ever slept with (over half the population of North America) and tweet and retweet the following until I go carpel-tunnel limp:

less than 20 seconds ago via web

Understand that not only have you lost one of your most loyal subscribers, but with the same loathsome act you have also provoked me into actively working towards seeking an even hastier demise for your bastardized incarnation of The New York Times - once the undisputed True North of the Fourth Estate, now Bottom-feeding Suck-tards.

I hope you will reconsider your position on this, Mr. Hoyt. Who can measure the enormity of final body blow to the credibility of The Times (officially) on your watch and your (last) dime? It would better serve you to jump out ahead of this one and retract. I can promise you it won’t be going away anytime soon, and I’d hate to see you admonished by whoever replaces you a year from now as being "asleep at the switch" or "not being quick enough to retract the proven lies" of the dubious O'Keefe and Co. in the wake of so many other recent scandals for your troubled publication.

Jeannie Dean

(**Original article @ The BradBlog, here:
Close Up

Dear ABC News: You Fail.

Dear ABC News,

I have relied on you to keep me an informed citizen since I was a little girl, so you can imagine how infuriated I was that GMA did not follow up and/or correct Rudy Guiliani's ABSURD assertion that no domestic terror attack occurred during George Bush's tenure. After years of making millions off of "never forgetting?" He forgot. And you let it slide. Utterly shameless.

This kind of behavior is not at all surprising from my former dick-weed mayor, who we all knew was becoming crazy long before the attacks. But what the hell is wrong with your puggy George Stephonopoulos? How a RHODES SCHOLAR could allow that kind of a lie to go unchecked on your network and my public airwaves is beyond tolerable. Really. Your corporate rule is showing. Don't your evil CEO overlords want you to appear believable in your reporting? I thought that was sort of the point of propaganda - to not seem like propaganda. If you were really going for some kind of credibility, wouldn't you make sure you stick to lies we can't fact check with our own memory?

I will not watch ABC news again until this lie is corrected or retracted. Considering your decade long, ball-less approach to journalism, ABC will not be hard to carve out of my information diet. Peter Jennings would have your semen-sacs bronzed and mounted as Newton's pendulum balls, for this. Pucker-heads.

Jeannie Dean